Driving Through Old Neighborhood

Stomach flip flops
as I pass real places  
where real things happened.  Not
moseying along
curious about what’s meant by
“Middle Asian Restaurant”.  But
Queen of Angels Parish Hall
where my Destiny was changed
forever.
One man claimed me;
The other let me go.
I never realized
I wasn’t at the wheel.
I could turn here and pass
the basement apartment
where willingly
I gave up my
virginity.
And here the school
where my
father-by-marriage taught.
“Only you prepared me
 for the Marines,” a student said.
The previous streets were interesting
but now we’re on Death Row,
place of serious roads taken and those mysteriously
not.
I’m passing through the sea of
 Egypt.
Must not give attention to
the high waters,
must keep going to
safe ground,
to places not marked by me
like a dog leaves its scent.
Must find footing on fresh ground,
back into now,
freedom,
control.
Control?

Past Life Regression

 Sunday 7/19/15
    Today I’m traveling the Erie Canal!  For a couple hours on Amtrak, on my way to be trained in Past Life Regression with Dr. Brian Weiss at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY, my train has been accompanying this broad quiet human-made river. I wouldn’t have known it was the Erie Canal except I was surprised to see a flat boat saying Erie Canal Boat Rides.  I guess I thought the Erie Canal was a past tense historical experience.  I remember the song we learned in elementary school “I got a mule, her name is Sal.  Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal”  etc. 
   What a lovely experience here.  I’m no good with measurements but I’d say this waterway is about 4 living rooms across; I could swim it easily.  It’s dark green, not really dirty looking.  I haven’t seen much wild life; it may flow pretty steady so I see no turtles sunning or herons hunting.  There are green or orange buoys here and there to mark underwater objects to be avoided.  Now and then there’s an old 3 part bridge,  or dams with small locks alongside.  No recreational boats, just one empty barge abandoned alongside the water.  Lush forests or marshes along both sides, probably all public lands along this freight way.  No beaches.  Occasionally the canal splits around a sandbar or island.  The famous Erie Canal really exists!
     I’ve taken Amtrak rather than fly to NYC where I’d have to transfer, but this will take me 18 hours from Chicago to Rhinebeck!  I’ve taken a sleeper; tried sleeping sitting up once going to Colorado and was in horrible pain by the time I arrived.  This sleeper is cute!  Very carefully planned so every convenience possible can be squeezed in somehow.  I have my own hidden toilet!  And a sink that folds down with hot, cold, and ice water! My meals are included and can even be brought to my room for me.  The food is pretty good! I slept very soundly once I got used to the sounds and rhythms of the train.      
Omega.  Tuesday.   What a moving and amazing experience!  First off, Dr. Brian Weiss himself is worth being with.  A gentle, warm, centered man with a wonderful sense of humor and genuine love for people, it’s worth the money just to be in the presence of a person like this. He reminds me of the lucky time I was able to sit directly in front of Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk.  I don’t remember what he said, but I will NEVER forget what he felt like.
    Dr. Weiss is a psychiatrist , graduated with honors from Columbia University and Yale School of Medicine, trained in Freudian psychotherapy and published and honored for his serious research.  After many years of practice he discovered by accident that patients can be regressed way back to before they were born, other lives that they have lived!  He continued to research this privately for some years and finally felt he had to come out of the closet and reveal what he’d been finding.   He feared he might be disgraced in the eyes of  his fellow professionals but his experience compelled his conscience to share it.  His first book,  Same Soul, Many Bodies, was an unexpected hit.  Professionally he took many punches but in no time other professionals were also coming to him to learn this.  Clients are healed of the strangest ailments, discovering that the origin of various fears, antagonisms towards particular people,  strange physical pains and diseases, even problems with weight can be traced back to experiences in previous lives.  In just the same way that uncovering them in our own forgotten childhood heals these wounds, uncovering them in past lives heals them too.
   I myself know probably twenty other lives that I’ve had.  Some I know through dreams.   I’ve gotten good at interpreting my dreams and can recognize the difference between symbolic dreams and historic dreams as well as interactions going on at deep levels with other living and dead people, out-of-body experiences and such.  Some past lives I’ve guessed by my unusual interests or aversions.  Some I know through hypnosis, the method we use in this class.  In none of my lives (so far) was I famous or exotic, which is usual in past life regression.  These are real ordinary lives; no one comes out claiming they were Napoleon or Jesus or Cleopatra.  A matter of fact, these other lives that are troubling us still are often harsh or non-glorious where we learned something difficult.  In that way, every life is precious. 
   I’m dealing now  in particular with my life as a French Canadian lumberjack in western Michigan.  I seemed to have worked with Swedes, who teased me about being short and French.  I got pretty hot about it and tried to fight, almost got myself killed!  So I retreated to farming, carrying with me a grudge against Swedes. Here in this life my French Canadian father married my Swedish mom and I get to work out this conflict inside me! The story goes on about my bad attitude towards my wife and consequently I get to be a woman now!  Ha ha!  It’s all about learning and growing….
     More to come as I go through this week…

Tradition


Tradition:
Similar to a (good) habit.  Helps all stay more easily on the path of choice.  Both tradition and habit are watched over by awareness.
Traditions are forged through the courage and effort of our ancestors:  they are our rich inheritance.  They should not be thrown out on a whim. 
Tradition holds together the community of the past, present, and future as one, while allowingconscious change across time.
The Covenant or Creed is the most important tradition for a spiritual community.  It should hold clearly what has brought these people together; what they are trying to live up to together.

Supermarket friendships


A delightful experience in the supermarket.  I was in line to check out when an old Chinese man in the next line came towards me looking at my cart, then at me, then at my cart.  (I knew he was Chinese by his long white stringy chin-beard, like out of some ancient poem).  I asked him “Can I help you?”  In pretty good English he said, “I look ideas about healthy food.  What you have?”  This was just a quick stop for me that day.  I pointed to my stack of cheap t.v. dinners – “These t.v. dinners are just $1 each,” I explained.  I buy them for the tasty sauce and then add more meat and vegetables, because I’m no good at making sauces.”  Then I showed him my two bananas, my Brownberry bread – “This is healthy,” I said,  and my organic lettuce.  And then it was time for both of us to proceed to our checkouts.  Finished with our transactions, he came to me again.  “You write for me name of these things?”  I took a paper and pen and wrote “Michelina’s t.v. dinners, Brownberry bread,” etc.  He pointed to the word “t.v.”  “What is this t.v.?” he asked.  “Television,” I explained.  “You microwave these and have a quick dinner ready.”  “Oh!”  he said delighted.  “Eat while watch television!”  “Yes,” I affirmed with a smile.  “You my teacher!” he exclaimed twice, and with a head bow and warm smiles we separated.  It was all so unusual and delightful, I wondered if I ought to get his phone number or something!  I felt such warmth for this lovely person, and wondered “why”, as we often wonder when the unusual happens.
    My first reaction later was to feel how glad I am to be 70 years old. Had I been younger I might have felt embarrassed by his approach or afraid those behind me in line would be impatient or judgmental.  But we were two old strangers interacting with the freedom of elders, feeling secure with each other in some indescribable way.  We were beyond caring what we look like to those around and could just be open and human with each other.
    I later remembered a news story that in Japan there’s been a rash of petty thefts by senior citizens.  They’ll steal a loaf of bread, get caught and taken to jail for a night, and then released.  Then they do the same thing again.  It seems they’re lonely!  In jail, they have people to talk with.  Perhaps my old Chinese friend was just looking for an excuse to chat with someone.  If so, he made my day.
   And now, I pay attention in grocery stores for folks who look like they just need a human chat.  That isn’t hard to do…

May Day


   I think of my Mother on May Day.  May 1st is celebrated  in a variety of ways that I know of:  the common worker is honored in communist countries; pagan traditions celebrate Beltane, the time for mating; and spring is celebrated in northern countries.  My Mom grew up with some tradition that she seemed shy about pushing on us but it obviously warmed her heart.  She would say with a hesitant but happy smile “It’s May Day!”  And then something about flowers and baskets that faded off, as if she felt alone in this dear little tradition that society no longer keeps.  I always wondered what the whole picture was but never pursued it.
    There were many things my mom would mention about herself – her childhood, the dreams and experiences of her life – but I was full of myself as young people are, and failed to show interest in her thoughts.  She, being shy, never pushed herself on others.  How I wish now that I’d taken time to chat with her and know her!  I can only remember her little comments and try to fill them in with imagination.
  I’ve learned somewhere that on May Day there was often a custom that children made either paper or real baskets and filled them with flowers from the woods, then brought them to parents, teachers, neighbors, perhaps left them hanging on their door knobs.  Mom so loved the wild flowers in the spring woods of Michigan:  the dogwood trees, the little pink and white Spring Beauties, the violets, the snowdrops, and the gorgeous white trilliums.  Wherever you are, Mom, I hope you’re always surrounded by beauty and know that your life is still appreciated.

A Day in old Japan


                                         A Day in old Japan
     Here in the Anderson Gardens, in the middle of run-down central Rockford Illinois, we seem to have time-and-space traveled into a completely different culture.  We’re back in the Shinto origins of Japan, to those times when Nature was worshiped.  Centuries must have passed for the Japanese people to become aware of the details that make this garden a temple.  Giant rocks are placed everywhere, but not haphazardly.  Many are cut flat or chiseled slightly to keep their large power in balance with the plants around them.  Trees are both pruned and nurtured.  The ordinary yews are thriving.  Each tree, bush, rock stands out in its beauty and at the same time blends in, fits with the larger picture.  Here each individuality contributes to the beauty of the whole.  For a moment my mind searches for identification tags on trees and plants, but there are none.  The mind becomes quiet here, the body aware. 
     Beside the pond, a viewing platform with covered wooden benches serves the visitor to experience other landscapes:  the small island with its short bridge, the stone pagoda, the dwarf tree that drapes over the tiny island.  The only movement is of the golden, flecked koi swimming quietly here and there at their leisurely pace, flowing from their own impulses unknown to us.  At times one only sees the ripples and traces of their movements.  The summer insects sing in the background, not asking our attention but offering their steady vibration to calm the visitor.  We are invited to be not to look at.
     At a different place by the water, a bench looks two ways:  a stream flows swiftly past us down around a fairly steep hill, while a pagoda serenely watches from above among the trees. Here I experience both the sound and smell of fresh flowing water, though I have to tell myself to smell.  Strange:  I generally breathe without smelling.
     Now: the wind must have changed; I’m aware of a new smell.  The scent of pine has turned to something richer, like “pond.”  Turtles stretch out on rocks in the warm sun, reminding us to feel our skin and the sun’s warmth, to stop all movement and enjoy our own being.  But this relaxing moment   is interrupted by the screech of a tire, bringing awareness of how fragile is this time travel to old Japan.
    In the Tea Room, a small, open-sided building, the floor is covered with bamboo mats. A few utensils and one very small reed arrangement sit waiting on the floor by a slender scroll.  We are surrounded by the sound of water moving down the creek, around the shaded house.  Without words, the room tells us to “Purify before entering.”  Purity, respect, honor, are the feelings this place offers.  What does purity mean?  That the water of the nearby large waterfall could wash away all negativity.  Let every complaint be transformed.  Let every wound blossom into a flower or fruit.    Here only the Present Moment remains.  Ego not hurt by anything has openness to receive Now.  Here all is only beauty and peace, wholeness and presence.  When all harsh judgments are taken away, our natural state is happiness.
     In the Guest House, there is almost nothing.  Like the Tea Room, the floor is covered with mats.  A low table and six legless, cushioned chairs wait for some peaceful gathering. This setting brings the full attention of those present to each other and the current moment, yet surrounds them with open connection to Nature outdoors. The sliding brown paper walls have no design.  I think of my walls at home, cluttered with inspiration and various displays of disparate beauty.  What is “inspiration” except leaning toward the future, trying to be more than one truly is now? What are many displays of beauty placed side by side with which we fill our walls, not allowing the full experience of anything?   Inspiration and Manyness do not bring us into being present in the moment, or with each other, or calm with ourselves.
      At the Main Gate where we arrive at the end of our stroll, stands a life-size statue of a simple wise person, wearing a long robe and squat hat, hands folded and a sweet smile on his face.  The little man seems to say in his human way that happiness is our basic nature and that the truly wise person ishappy.  Joy unfolds like a sprout from within, always growing there in the depths and floating up to sight when the impediments are removed and all negativity is transformed into fruit and flower. One feels one’s being in these grounds. Visiting briefly in old Japan gifts my spirit with contentment.